A guy goes to confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm eighty years old and married, with four kids and eleven grandchildren. Last night I had a tryst with a gorgeous twenty-five-year-old. "Well, my son, when was your last confession?" asks the priest. "Never, Father. I don't belong to your church." "So, then, why are you telling me?" "Are you kidding?" grins the man. "I'm telling everybody!"